Our Bliss is the Key to Our Survival

Our Bliss is the Key to Our Survival

The process of birth is precisely orchestrated to create a vortex of bliss, for mother and baby. This elysian state is inextricable from our survival. 

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The apotheosis of the euphoria of birth is not so much the relief of emergence, but the initial meeting of mother and child, when we reach between our own thighs and lift our slippery baby to our bare breast, (or when the person we most love and trust in the world immediately passes our infant into our arms with their caring hands) and we behold her or him for the first time, bearing witness to their original face. 

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During this mystical congregation, past and future collide; that which has been protected by the most hidden and powerful organ becomes seen; the beingness of our baby and our own faith in all becomes concretized. In the encounter, we believe, finally, that they, and we, are real. 

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This splitting open and undoing of our bodies as women, and our subsequent re-organization and collecting up of our babies allows for the meeting of self, other, and spirit in the mirror of our infant’s existence. 

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The first worldly encounter we as mothers have with our children is designed to be the most sacred and significant experience of integration and human connection available to us on earth. 

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This initial exchange of energy, pheromones, and sheer love, constitutes the purest form of connection possible; an exquisite transformation so crystalline and potent as to far surpass by orders of magnitude what any other transcendental or spiritual revelation or extrinsic drug could ever provide. 

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I have witnessed this in other women many times, and I’ve experienced it myself when I held my own eight children for the first time. 

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This moment belongs to—and is only available to—mothers and babies. And therefore, considering that every human being is born through the body of their mother, this timeless instance is intended for all of us! 

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The tragedy though, is that it can be, and so often is (for the majority of people alive today, sadly) sabotaged by those who mean well, but who misunderstand the physiology, the psychology, and the spirituality of birth.

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(The universality of this primal wounding is also why people tend to get so defensive and ragey, when I, and other birth keepers talk about how foundational and critical this beginning moment of uninterrupted witnessing by, and with our mothers really is: most of us have missed out on the full integration that we are created to experience during this first meeting, and those who have yet to  synthesize our birth trauma, are often very triggered by this discussion). 

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Nurses, obstetricians, and most midwives have been erroneously taught that by “managing” the emergence of a baby, and subsequently performing acts like “uterine massage” (abuse), assaulting babies with a bulb syringe, and shooting women up with pitocin (a synthetic drug) during those precious moments following birth, they are saving us from our flawed biology. 

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What medical professionals do not understand, is that the complex and delicate spontaneous hormonal activations that occur immediately postpartum which are designed to *prevent* or repair issues like excessive bleeding on the part of mothers, or trouble breathing on the part of babies, can only occur in the absence of actions on the part of those with the agenda of delivering us from our defective bodies. 

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Birthing women are actually kept the *safest* for the most part, by surrendering to our brilliant physiology (although of course, there is no objective safety available to any of us, ever).

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When women are fully honoured, respected, and protected in the birth process, and supported by those who understand how birth works, and who recognize their place (and their relative insignificance), a mother’s body will almost always automatically, spontaneously, and safely initiate the responsive hormonal processes that will staunch bleeding, and begin the involution of the uterus and recalibration of her systems. 

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This occurs not *in spite of*, the spiritual significant that is meeting her baby, nor even in conjunction with it, but specifically *thanks to* the brilliant mutuality between a birthing mother’s sacred euphoria, and her survival.  

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When we sabotage the bliss and spiritual connectedness of birth, we endanger both mother and baby. 

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Many women are convinced that if not for hospital protocols and interventions, their baby would have died. 

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In contrast, I know that without the sanctity, familiarity,  and inherent “safety” of my home—in other words, if not for the *absence* of hospital intrusions and medical staff (most of whom have never witnessed a spontaneous, physiological birth)—my baby’s wellbeing and his life would have been terribly compromised. 

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Instead, when I passed out briefly immediately after our family’s sixth baby, little Ignatius, finally slithered from my body after a shockingly intense and challenging 12+ hour long initiation (including about five hours of arduous pushing), his white and apparently lifeless body between my legs… I was (and am) so grateful that there was no one in my vicinity who stepped in to “save” us.

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Instead, the friends and family members who were present stood back in silence, as I travelled through the darkness of the underworld, and when my husband leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Yo, get your baby”, I came back to earth, reached down, and lifted my child’s limp body to my heart.

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It was several long seconds—minutes, even—before Iggy decided to join us in the world. While he and I remained tethered by his cord in the luminal space of the almost-earthside, no one touched us or spoke, knowing that the only expertise required in this moment, was mine and his alone, focused as we were on in the sacredness of our becoming mother and child. 

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And soon enough, heart to heart, face to face, we did. 

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Iggy is two years old now, as brilliant as can be, and fully adored by everyone in our family. 

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He frequently talks to me about birth, and demonstrates with his arms encircled, how gently he will hold our new baby, whom we’re expecting to arrive around Christmastime. 

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The benefits and blessings of peaceful, unhindered birth at home are incalculable, and intergenerational. 

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Book a 1:1 birth planning coaching session or birth-trauma debrief here. 

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